PERSONAL INSECURITIES

This has been a very sensitive topic very close to my chest.

I had been brought up in an environment to value the opinion of others in anything and everything I do. Yes, a noble thought and perhaps good from the point of view that it stemmed from a Joint Family System.

But little did I realise that this would have some kind of a deep impact in my personality and in many of my activities and eventually leading to the bizarre concept of Insecurity. Ok let me get this straight -  the idea is not to blame the ecosystem for anything. This is just a root cause analysis of the 3 decades plus psyche.

So what all did I want to do?

I wanted to be a good singer. But I have never sung a single song so far!

I wanted to be an orator. I had given my names to Elocution Competitions in Schools when I was a kid. When my chance came on stage, I would tremble with fright and not utter a word in front of the audience. Ok – blamed it on stage fear!

I wanted to act in Stage Plays. I love theatre. Do I need to mention, I ended up being a Crew member – Stage Manager as they would call it!

As I grew up, I felt I could write decently if not go for stage talks. So I felt like writing articles. But what prevented me from carrying it on?

Now, in this technologically connected world it is easy to make virtual friends – Thanks to Facebook, 

LinkedIn, Twitter et al. I am reasonably active in the Social Networking sites. Nobody can see you anyway. But when it comes to making a comment - Do I think twice? Is it for being politically correct? Is it because I shouldn’t hurt the feelings of others? Is it because of “what will they think” syndrome? Is it because I do not want to leave digital footprints?

Aren’t these something called Insecurities?

I am still learning to cope with it.

The fact that I have written this note is in itself a giant leap. Don’t you think so?

Yes, Certainly I am improving!