Emotional Anchors!

Recently I read a blog of a friend and she had mentioned something about emotional anchors in our lives.

That’s a beautiful concept – Emotional Anchors!

I am not sure if we have felt the need for emotional anchors to be there in our lives. I think they just happen. An emotional anchor emerges from nowhere and takes you through the ups and downs and helps you through the situation selflessly. They come in any form. Your Best friend, Spouse, Sibling, Parent, A Colleague, Boss, Teacher - depending on your situation they transform to become your confidante, providing great support, guidance etc. If not anyone else, sometimes your own alter ago can be your EA. Some even rely on God to awaken their inner self to take them through the different paths. Some rely on concepts of soul mates. Or as my cousin says, somebody to nourish his soul.

All of these lead to that one person whom I call – The Emotional Anchor! As the words imply,  this person is the best person to understand your emotions in that situation and be the "anchor" to help you grounded without drifting away due to external forces or internal turmoil.

From time to time a person can have different emotional anchors depending on circumstances, location and a myriad of other variables and factors.

The role the emotional anchor plays is very crucial and interesting depending on the situation. A person need not be offered an advice or a solution. Many a time, he just needs to be heard. The EA in such cases becomes a sounding board and the person finds his way out automatically. The EA is just able offer such invaluable support, and often effortlessly.

Without realizing, we all become emotional anchors to someone else automatically and at the same time, we also seek such support for ourselves too. While people can be emotional anchors mutually, it need not be a vice versa phenomenon. Even between spouses! I know it is a tricky subject. Still, spouses need not be mutual emotional anchors to each other. In fact in many situations, it works better otherwise, for maintaining harmony and stability. Having said that, there would be innumerable situations wherein a spouse plays crucial and critical roles.

The beauty of an emotional anchor is the selfless support being provided, without being judgemental, without malice and above all without letting insecurities, expectations and possessiveness to creep in.

I have been fortunate to have different emotional anchors in my life who have helped me face different challenges and to be successful. Some official, some business related, larger life issues or even a skill issue. I keep getting new emotional anchors who tend feed to the different emotional – tangible and the intangible needs. Some may help with a subtle push to nurture a hobby while someone may help in going after a big dream. Some may help in unearthing a "new" skill, while some one else may help in removing an old mental block.

And, there are some people who are there for me for anything and everything, whatever the weather. They have been through my emotional upheavals. Having travelled a long journey together, they are now no longer just my emotional anchors, but anchors at large. They are beyond my emotions.

Just wanted tell those noble souls – Thank you for being there!

Gen Y & X

“This generation of youngsters – they are too lazy to do their stuff. They are good in their work. But lazy. And too much of procrastination”, exclaimed my businessman friend with a concern about his son who has just completed his graduation.  This reminded me of the movie, Wake up Sid!

My friend is paranoid about his son , but I know that his son is actually a genius. I have seen him grow as a kid to a fine young man full of thoughts, ambitions and skills.

A successful dad’s expectations and feelings are quite understandable. Nevertheless, it led me to ponder. The talk about generations!

I belong to the generation called GenX ( typically born between Mid 60s- Early 80s). This generation had been a more studious group, learning to accept diversity as a way of life. A pragmatic and a practical approach to life had been ingrained since childhood in them. Credit cards weren’t born during their childhood days and pocket monies were insignificant. Self reliance and individualistic approaches became common unlike the “joint family” system of the previous generation. These guys got wider exposure hence learnt to reject rules or question the institutions. Many from this generation got used to both their parents working and a lot were of the “Latch-Key kid” types. They grew up with very few TV channels and later on got used to learning Personal Computers. Having found their niche rising up through sheer hard work and they firmly believe there’s no substitute to hard work in attaining anything. They are good at multitasking. They love being with friends and also with family but they consider family and friends as two separate entities. They consider the work place as a great place to learn. Expect freedom, flexibility and respect in the work place while making it a casual and friendly environment and are generally loyal. This generation has the maximum number of post graduates, but so have been the divorce rates. And since these guys have been through a vast variety of transitions from liberalisation to recession and through technology transformations, they have been a confused lot. However they make up largely with their focus, determination, analytical approach and a nice temperament.

I have been quite observant of the next generation. The GenY! So to say, I am actually in awe of the GenY. Born in the era around early 90s!  These guys got everything they wanted since childhood. A little more pampered as kids, yet well nurtured. They love and celebrate diversity. They follow a more optimistic approach to life. They are highly individualistic and more self-inventive in their outlook. They are very expressive with their views. While they had their pocket monies, quite a lot of them started having secondary credit cards through their parents.  Born in the age of Internet, and have been a good adopter of technologies. They have never been bogged by the rules or traditionalism, rather they prefer to rewrite the rules their way. They express an attitude of irrelevance to institutions. They belong to the era of specialisations. They multitask swiftly and are more driven by passion than emotions. They tend to be less loyal to brands in their purchasing patterns. A Sharp intellect and a good business acumen make them early entrepreneurs. I only wish and hope that they complete their education, as some of them seem to nurture business ideas while in college itself. Given a structured work environment with good support systems, they tend to outperform. However they are highly specialised and individualistic in their approach and prefer an interactive relationship than a collaborative relationship at workplace. Given a task they are high performers, but have very high expectations and demands too. Too quickly and too early in their life.

Gen Xers would question this approach, as with any different generations. GenX are used to the grind and have reached their level after slogging for decades while the GenY would like to reach the level in just a few years. Do they deserve this?

I want to tell my business man friend - the new lot are not lazy or that they are not focussed. They actually work for their passions. And when they find it, they go all out. They do not like to work just for the sake of working.

They love their luxuries and like to have a merry time. And Yes, Friends are families too. 

Give the GenY a chance. They have it in them to turn around the world and to show a new picture. Of course they may commit some mistakes in the process. That would be a part of the learning. They may not have the experience of having faced multiple difficult circumstances. But I am sure they have it in them to bounce back and fast, if at all.

I feel a GenX & GenY combo can be quite lethal in a business environment. The sharp intellect of the GenY supported with the maturity and wisdom of GenX – one can arrive at great decisions under varied circumstances.

Yes, I am looking forward to working and learning more from my GenY colleagues. Perhaps, that may make me wiser J.

While on the topic of X & Y, I am coping to accept the terminology of XoXo!